Wednesday, November 2, 2016

The Night of Nightmares Part II

So here I was, with Clifford Bender in the front seat of my car. I put it in gear and took off for the long drive to his house. He was silent after telling me about taking LSD and showing me his soft side. I was feeling very uncomfortable with the quiet in my car. I hoped I didn't make a mistake giving him a ride home.

After 15 minutes, I pulled up at his place. It was a small, old wreck of a house. I was now nervous since he hadn't spoke a word to me on the drive home. There was so much tension in the air that I was afraid for myself.

"Well, here we are. I hope you feel better" I said to him. He slowly turned his head and looked directly at me. The old Clifford Bender was back - the SOB, the meanest man in Umatilla county. Quickly he scooted over right next to me and put his arm around my shoulders and his hand on my thigh. Oh God, I thought. What should I do? I slowly reached my left hand up close to my horn. I said "Clifford, I was at the river all day and I'm so tired. I have to get home. I have friends meeting me there who are spending the night. You have to get out of the car right now." I couldn't believe I said that to him. He stayed right where he was, enveloping me with his body.

After a minute, he asked, "You were at the Columbia River?" He said it with curiosity so I had an idea. "I was there all day and night. We had a keg and it was a great party. I'm going back tomorrow for another day at the beach. Everyone will be there again. You know most of the people that will be there." He started taking the bait. "I'd like to go with you" is all he said. "Great. I'll be by around noon tomorrow to pick you up. Wear something you can swim in. I have an extra air mattress you can use. It's going to be all day and night again" I explained to him.

Slowly he removed his arm from around my shoulders and then took his hand off my thigh. Next, he moved to his side of the car and said, "You promise you will come get me?" I replied "Of course I will. You'll have a great time. You better get to bed since it's so late and we're leaving pretty soon." He opened the car door and got out. He leaned against the door and said to me in his horrible way "You better pick me up or you won't like the consequences." I acted like everything was cool, while still having my hand near the horn. "Clifford, I said I'd pick you up at noon. I will. Go to bed and I'll see you tomorrow. Be ready at noon,"

He stood up and said "I'll be waiting. Don't pull anything." and shut the door. He walked towards his house and I burst into tears. My legs were shaking so badly. I couldn't control them. My hand was shaking over the horn. As he walked into the house, I put my car into gear and zoomed away as fast as I could go.

The Night of Nightmares

I was so head over heels happy. I had just spent the day at the beach on the Columbia River. The Columbia River is the largest River in Oregon and Washington State. In fact, It divides the two states. Indians still use nets to fish on this river. People waterski and fish out of there boats here above the dam. It even had a sandy beach and a huge park for people to come spend their free time.

I had spent all of 1975 at the beach during the nice warm summer days. There was always a crowd of my friends there with a keg in tow. I had floated out on the calm, clear river and spent about four hours with a few of my girl and guy friends. Then, after burning up in the August sun, we were at the keg with about one hundred people I knew. We ate and drank until the middle of the night and then some of us went to an all night coffee shop to sober up. I left about 2:30 a.m. for about a 45 minute drive to my hometown and my home. 

I had met one of my old friends from high school who I hadn't seen in three years. I always had a crush on him since I was 15 and this night it seemed as if he was interested in me. I was floating on air. We had agreed to meet up the next day at the beach and spend time together. I was only thinking about him on my drive home. I was driving my 1960 Rambler with a Continental kit on the back. It was a pretty green and everyone thought my car was from the 1940s. It had that look. I'd had a few people try to get me to sell it to them and I always turned everyone down. I loved that car. It brought me good luck.

I finally hit my hometown and was burned out and very tired. I couldn't wait to crawl into bed and get  some much needed sleep. I was finally driving down the street I lived on. It was a long long road. I saw someone walking toward me on the side of the road. It was about 3:15 a.m. As I drove closer I recognized who it was. It was Clifford Bender, the big son of a bitch. He was the meanest, most deplorable 34 year old man in town. In fact, in all of northeastern Oregon. 

He use to be married when I was 18. I remember the keg I went to in the Blue Mountains where he was drunk and dragging his wife around by her long hair. He kept punching her in the face with his balled up fist. She had blood all over her face and hair and clothes and she was whimpering as he slammed her hard in her face. There were over 50 people at that party in the woods and no one said a word as Clifford Bender abused his wife. I was 18 at the time and was scared for her. There were men in their 30s standing with red Solo cups of beer, not doing a thing to stop him. I knew better than to say anything to him or I'd be next and I was aware that everyone there was afraid of him. So we all pretended not to see him hurting his wife. He even dragged her through the campfire we'd built. He was out of control and dangerous as usual. I and my two girlfriends had snuck to my car and left the party. We didn't want to see how it was going to end. We drove back to town, fuming at the guys for not stopping Clifford Bender from beating his small wife.

I was now 21 years old and felt like I had my life together. As I passed him walking on the road, I saw him look up at me and I saw fear in his eyes. He was scared. I drove past him and down the road to home, but I felt he needed someone to help him. I whipped my car around and drove back toward him. I pulled up next to him and rolled the passenger window down to see what was wrong. He grabbed my door and opened it wide and jumped in and begged me to take him to his house. I wasn't expecting Clifford Bender to be in my car in any life time and was shocked. I asked him what was wrong. He said he was at a party at a friend of mine's house and no one would talk to him and he'd taken some LSD and was feeling like he needed to go. He left the house and found out his old car wouldn't start and he was so high he didn't want to walk back into the party, back to the group of people who didn't want him there, so he decided he'd walk the ten miles home. Then he saw me and said he prayed I'd turn around and take him home.

I'd never seen this side to Clifford Bender before. I actually felt sorry for him. I totally forgot about all the nights at the bar when he'd show up and, after he walked into the place, everyone would leave, in groups of two or three or four and we'd meet around the corner and decide who's house we'd continue partying at.There would only be a few people left at the bar after he showed up - people who didn't yet know Clifford Bender.





The Night of Nightmares

I was so head over heels happy. I had just spent the day at the beach on the Columbia River. The Columbia River is the largest River in Oregon and Washington State. In fact, It divides the two states. Indians still use nets to fish on this river. People waterski and fish out of their boats here above the dam. It even had a sandy beach and a huge park for people to come spend their free time.

I had spent all of 1975 at the beach during the nice warm summer days. There was always a crowd of my friends there with a keg in tow. I had floated out on the calm, clear river and spent about four hours with a few of my girl and guy friends. Then, after burning up in the August sun, we were at the keg with about one hundred people I knew. We ate and drank until the middle of the night and then some of us went to an all night coffee shop to sober up. I left about 2:30 a.m. for about a 45 minute drive to my hometown and my home. 

I had met one of my old friends from high school who I hadn't seen in three years. I always had a crush on him since I was 15 and this night it seemed as if he was interested in me. I was floating on air. We had agreed to meet up the next day at the beach and spend time together. I was only thinking about him on my drive home. I was driving my 1960 Rambler with a Continental kit on the back. It was a pretty green and everyone thought my car was from the 1940s. It had that look. I'd had a few people try to get me to sell it to them and I always turned everyone down. I loved that car. It brought me good luck.

I finally hit my hometown and was burned out and very tired. I couldn't wait to crawl into bed and get  some much needed sleep. I was finally driving down the street I lived on. It was a long long road. I saw someone walking toward me on the side of the road. It was about 3:15 a.m. As I drove closer I recognized who it was. It was Clifford Bender, the big son of a bitch. He was the meanest, most deplorable 34 year old man in town. In fact, in all of northeastern Oregon. 

He use to be married when I was 18. I remember the keg I went to in the Blue Mountains where he was drunk and dragging his wife around by her long hair. He kept punching her in the face with his balled up fist. She had blood all over her face and hair and clothes and she was whimpering as he slammed her hard in her face. There were over 50 people at that party in the woods and no one said a word as Clifford Bender abused his wife. I was 18 at the time and was scared for her. There were men in their 30s standing with red Solo cups of beer, not doing a thing to stop him. I knew better than to say anything to him or I'd be next and I was aware that everyone there was afraid of him. So we all pretended not to see him hurting his wife. He even dragged her through the campfire we'd built. He was out of control and dangerous as usual. I and my two girlfriends had snuck to my car and left the party. We didn't want to see how it was going to end. We drove back to town, fuming at the guys for not stopping Clifford Bender from beating his small wife.

I was now 21 years old and felt like I had my life together. As I passed him walking on the road, I saw him look up at me and I saw fear in his eyes. He was scared. I drove past him and down the road to home, but I felt he needed someone to help him. I whipped my car around and drove back toward him. I pulled up next to him and rolled the passenger window down to see what was wrong. He grabbed my door and opened it wide and jumped in and begged me to take him to his house. I wasn't expecting Clifford Bender to be in my car in any life time and was shocked. I asked him what was wrong. He said he was at a party at a friend of mine's house and no one would talk to him and he'd taken some LSD and was feeling like he needed to go. He left the house and found out his old car wouldn't start and he was so high he didn't want to walk back into the party, back to the group of people who didn't want him there, so he decided he'd walk the ten miles home. Then he saw me and said he prayed I'd turn around and take him home.

I'd never seen this side to Clifford Bender before. I actually felt sorry for him. I totally forgot about all the nights at the bar when he'd show up and, after he walked into the place, everyone would leave, in groups of two or three or four and we'd meet around the corner and decide who's house we'd continue partying at.There would only be a few people left at the bar after he showed up - people who didn't yet know Clifford Bender.





Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Day I Lost My Self Esteem

My best friend, supposedly, was LeaAnn. She and I were in a fight. It was probably over our religions. She was a staunch Mormon and testified to me constantly. I went to St. Joseph's Academy and was baptized a Catholic when I was a baby. She could talk about Mormonism for hours, but I couldn't tell her much about the Catholic Church. Mass was in Latin, so I didn't get anything out of our Sunday Church except the few minutes the priest would give a sermon. And the sermon's were for the grown ups, not a kid at 12 years old. I was taught by nuns and we had religion for one hour a day, but that composed of stories in the bible - the Old Testament. I could tell her stories, but I couldn't tell her about the Catholics. I went to church with her once in a while and the man running the show would always say something negative about Catholics. He greeted us at the door, so I suppose that dig was for me, but it just made me not like anything to do with Mormon's. LeaAnn also said at the end of time the earth would erupt and would be on fire and only the Mormons would be saved. She said they'd rise, even from their graves, and hover over all us sinners and watch us burn as Jesus Christ greeted them. It scared the hell out of me. I talked to a Bishop in her church about becoming a Mormon, but he said I was too young and would have to get my parent's permission, which I knew would be impossible. And I really liked being a Catholic anyway.

So, the fight between LeaAnn and I had started on Sunday and today was Monday. I rode the Catholic bus and came home before LeaAnn. I was watching out my living room window for her to come clomping down the hill. I knew we would make up and life as I knew it would be restored. I saw her walking with her books, down the hill, where my home was and I went outside and picked at the bushes along the street. LeaAnn called to me and I, excitedly, ran to her. She had a cold look on her face and she just handed me an envelope and walked off. Oh no! I turned and walked to my house and into the bedroom I shared with my older sister. She wasn't home from high school yet. I had time to read the letter before she came in. I tore it open, to find 4 pages inside. I pressed the folded papers open and was greeted by a huge black announcement on the top of the first page. It said "I HATE JEANNE PENNER". Below was the number 1 with a period, followed by LeaAnn's full name. Below that was a number 2 with a period followed by a name. I quickly read all the signatures, all 50 of them. We were in seventh grade and I was use to stories about LeaAnn's friends at public school. Their names were on it. So many, many names. And we just had the stupid fight yesterday, so she was able to take this horrific announcement around between breaks in class and have the 50 kids sign it. I tried being stoic, but a huge sob came out of my body, followed by more and it was so bad that I was hyperventilating while crying.